


Losing you

by Ladyspirkis4life97



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, Based on a Avril Lavinge song, Depressed Stan, Good parent Randy, Good parent Sharon, Hurt No Comfort, Kyle is cannonically a dick to Stan, M/M, Misunderstandings, Moving Away, Or Is It?, Rating is for the mention of jerking off, Stan has a stutter as a preschooler, Unrequited Love, You can not change my mind, better safe then sorry, time skipping, unbetaed, why because it's cute to me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 09:42:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23349364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyspirkis4life97/pseuds/Ladyspirkis4life97
Summary: Stan has always been struck by Kyle, from the moment he met him in preschool but he lost him when he got caught up with Wendy and lost in his depression and Cynicism. Now he's broken up with Wendy for good this time and throwing up around Kyle and he has a sinking feeling that this will not end well.
Relationships: Hinted at Kyle Broflovski/Eric Cartman, Kyle Broflovski & Eric Cartman, Kyle Broflovski & Stan Marsh, One sided Stan Marsh/Kyle Broflovski, mentioned Wendy Testaburger/Stan Marsh
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	Losing you

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all, I am back. I am writing a very long cooking AU fic but my muse has decided to vacation away from me on it so here I am with this. I recently released a fluffy fluffy fic so here i am with a 100% angst never going to be fixed fic for you all :). This is based off of 'Losing Grip' by Avril Lavinge and like instantly that scene where Kyle leaves a depressed, drunken Stan behind because he wasn't fun anymore to go cook burgers with Cartman popped into my head so here's a fic where all of Kyle's not wanting to deal with Stan comes to a head now with consequences :). I don't own South Park or the song and I hope you enjoy this fic.

Preschool Stan saw the prettiest boy he had ever seen. Shiny green eyes and wild red curls with a passion for doing the right thing. He went home after sharing his crayons with him and spending all day with him, babbling to his mom about him. 

“Mama he said- he said-um he said I could come to his house if you say it’s ok and um what's the word, mama?”

“You want me to call Kyle’s mom and arrange a playdate for you two?”

Stan sighed, as he nodded, grateful he didn’t have to try talking more. His mom was good at recognizing what he was trying to say despite his stutter, he really hoped it would go away when he was a big kid. That Saturday he went over to Kyle’s house and Kyle handed him a Terrance action figure and said: “Let’s play Terrance and Phillip!” He had a toothy grin and Stan nodded excitedly and they dove into the blanket fort he and Kyle insisted be made with the help of Kyle’s mom and reenacted the two characters from the snippets they had caught from sneaking the show when their parents watched it. Snuggled up under the fort with Kyle tucked under his arm and Stan's nose buried in his curls Kyle said softly “Stan, will we be friends forever?” 

Stan pulled away from Kyle and brought him into a big bear hug, the one his mom always used when he was sad and said: “The bestest of friends, super best friends forever I promise!”  
Preschool passed quickly and they picked up two new friends, it was hard sharing at first but Kyle was Stan’s super best friend and they had the necklaces to prove it. Stan and Kenny cheered Kyle on when he punched Cartman in his face for calling them gay for it but promptly forgot the event when the teacher mentioned it was recess time. Now they were in fourth grade and things were different for sure. It was in fourth grade he met Wendy, a girl unlike any other, she was fiery and opinionated, passionate in all the things Stan was. She had long black hair and was the most popular girl in school. Stan got so nervous he always threw up but she just seemed flattered despite her cries of disgust. Stan began to pursue her, after asking his dad how which was useless as it just caused his mom and dad to end up fighting because Randy only wanted to offer his son “practical advice,” that being how to kiss and get her in bed. 

Stan definitely didn’t want that, he just wanted to hold her hand and give her flowers, sensitive girly stuff that Cartman teased him for. He finally got the courage one day to ask her, only for her to hand him a note instead with a soft smile which he promptly returned with throwing up. Used to it she let out a half-hearted gross while walking away to join her friends, blushing and giggling as they excitedly talked. He opened the note up and smiled brightly when he read it and looked excitedly at Kyle as he said “Kyle! Wendy wants to date me isn’t this great?”

Kyle smiled at him, only it was a lot smaller than he usually gave him as he said: “Yeah Stan that’s amazing, guess you’ll have to work on the whole throwing up thing huh?” Stan nodded at his best friend, glad that his friend approved of the relationship he didn’t want to lose Kyle. Throughout the years he and Wendy faced challenges, as did he and Kyle. 

When he finally admitted to Kyle he loved him Kyle just rolled his eyes and told him to go back to Wendy walking back to Cartman who wrapped an arm around him and gave a wicked smile over Kyle’s shoulder towards him and Stan fumed. He had been trying to steal Kyle away since preschool and he was winning! Stan walked away, holding back the tears as he stumbled away, drunk and depressed, the world looking like shit. The only thing that didn’t was Kyle but as he walked towards Cartman he slowly formed and Stan couldn’t stand it. Highschool found Stan broken up with Wendy for the final time, and Kyle and he were close friends again. It was a complete 180 from what happened when they entered elementary but Stan couldn’t be bothered to care. Number one boyfriend necklace was replaced with his super best necklace and Kyle proudly wore his friend necklace for the world to see. 

Study dates at each other's houses resumed, sometimes with the others but mostly just with each other. Stan knew he was in trouble when after he got off the phone with Kyle he immediately threw up. He racked his brain for the side effects of his depression medicine, remembering nausea as a side effect and decided to never eat banana bread with his meds again. Then it happened again and with a sinking feeling, he called Cartman.

“What’s up, hippie?” Came the panting voice of the other.

“God Cartman, what are you doing jerking it?”

Cartman took on a flirtatious voice “Wouldn’t you like to know?” His voice changed to a serious tone as he said “ If you must know you interrupted my treadmill run now what the fuck do you want? Ready to give me my jew back?”

Stan hissed through the phone “He’s not fucking yours you jack ass! I was just testing something, go back to what you were doing.”

“Na ah ah you interrupted my work out session that deserves an explanation.”  
Stan frowned but didn’t hang up, him and Cartman were still friends, despite everything and on occasion, he did give really good advice but he couldn’t trust that Cartman wouldn’t tell Kyle so he just said: “I just wanted to see if I reacted in disgust whenever I heard your voice still, shocker I still do.”

He frowned when Cartman said, “You’re a shit liar hippie, say hi to Kyle for me.” The call was dropped and Stan shakily sat on the couch and thought ‘Holy shit, I have a crush on my best friend.’

The next day at school Stan tried to keep it in, and he succeeded right until the end of the day when Kyle asked if he wanted to come over. Stan threw up and Kyle just sighed as he said: “Dude you keep doing this, am I the new Wendy?” Stricken Stan looked away, ashamed of his feelings for his super best friend. Silence followed before Kyle said a low “Holy shit.” That was all it took for Stan to run away like a coward, not willing to wait for the rejection that followed. He ignored the calls and his mom’s voice through the door asking if he was ok, told his dad to tell Kyle he was sick and not to be disturbed and hid under his blanket fighting back tears. The following day he was forced to go to school, even though he was feeling like garbage and he knew he had to face the music. 

When he got there he was ignored by pretty much everyone, just the usual sup man from the various students and Kyle was missing from his side. He felt the hole more than he did when Wendy was around and he lost Kyle the first time and wasn’t surprised at all when he got to class and saw Kyle next to Cartman’s desk leaning against him and talking over a piece of paper. Jesus Christ Kyle was just as bad as he was with Wendy, always running back to him the moment something awkward or bad popped up in his life. Stan had no idea where he fell on that scale but based on Kyle’s blatant ignoring of him and the smile that Cartman sent him when Kyle buried his nose in his textbook he was definitely on there. Stan wanted desperately to ask why even now Kyle still chose Cartman over him, why he was seriously going to allow a stupid crush get in the way of their friendship but he bit his tongue because last time he put himself out there he watched Kyle walk out of his life for three years and he couldn’t handle that anymore. That night his dad announced they were moving, apparently, he had gotten a big job over at a university selling pot to teenagers, it came with a free house and lots of money but this time Randy waited, and let his wife and son decided if they would leave and Sharon was ready, the school had gotten increasingly more dangerous and she was on a homeschooling binge, plus being so close to a college might encourage Stan to start looking so all that was left was for Stan to decide. He thought of soft curly red hair in an afro, electric green eyes, and a permanent back turned to him and said “Sure, why should I care where we go? I got nothing here.” Randy and Sharon sighed, it seems like Kyle had gone and left Stan again and it just firmed up their resolve to leave. 

The weekend came and Kyle was still ignoring Stan, not that he cared, he wouldn’t leave himself open to being abandoned anymore. He got into the back seat and his family drove away, movers following and didn’t notice Kyle standing there holding a box, tears in his eyes as he watched the car drive away.


End file.
